PHOTOGRAPHY Bruno Talledo HAIR AND MAKE UP Octavio Solis

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It’s happened to all of us…or at least any guy that makes it a regular habit to strike up conversations with beautiful women. You see her across the room. You make your approach. You hit her with the perfect ice breaker and then…well, you might as well be taking to a wall. Yup, beautiful women with personality and a sense of humor are about as rare as a straight man walking the streets of San Francisco. Which is what makes us appreciate women like Shishonia so much. She reminds us to keep hope alive that there is such a thing as a beautiful babe with a great personality. Thank you Jesus! (BTW, all hate mail with a San Francisco return address will be automatically destroyed.)

Let’s start with a serious question. Tell us about your career goals.
I want to feed all the hungry puppies in the world. And other than that, keep on TV hosting, modeling, writing, and performing.

Hungry puppies? I said it was a serious question. Okay, what do you think are your biggest assets?
Stop looking at my chi chis…

What? Um, no. I was…thinking…about what to ask you next. So, I hear you have some comedic talents. There aren’t too many hot comediennes, what possessed you to give comedy a try?
I like to joke around and friends have always told me I should do stand up. So finally I did, at The Improv in Hollywood, California. The crowd was laughing hysterically and later I was like, “Damn Pepe, guess I am funny.”

You have a beautiful name. Does the name Shishonia have a significant meaning to it?
It means “desert flower.”

Were you ever teased about the fact that your name sounds remarkably like the Spanish term for “large breasted woman”?
Yeah, you know. But it’s was a nice break from people teasing me about my bubble butt.

How would you rate your Spanish? Spanglish, conversant, or fluent?
I guess I’m conversational, but if the person’s drunk they might think I’m fluent.

Sexy women tend to use their sex appeal to get ahead. Is there anything wrong with that?
They do? It seems wrong to me…

How many times have you used your sex appeal to score big?
Guys think that hot girls keep track of “scores/freebies” on a notepad, but that’s so not true. We just accidentally forget about it. I can’t even remember the name of the guy I went on a surprise dinner date to Chicago with. After dinner we were off to Puerto Rico for spa/resort fun on the beach. Not that I’m bragging about it, it was just something that happened in my life. If he reads this, thanks guy, email me. I lost your number.

Can you tell us about a Shishonia Gone Wild moment?
In high school, me and my girlfriends were skinny dipping in a private pool. (Can you imagine lots of naked, wet girls frolicking in slow motion, in a moonlit pool?) Just when we thought things were cool, the police threw us in jail for the night—just to be assholes. So see guys, girls don’t ALWAYS get away with things.

On to more important questions: Thongs, granny’s, or no panties, which do you prefer?
Hmmm…With a dress: no panties. In bed: definitely no panties. There should be a law against girls wearing panties in bed. Cotton boy-shorts for when I make coffee. And silk thongs for the rest. Glad we got that straight.

What about jeans without panties?
No thanks, that’s a rough ride. But if I’m in a hurry—like in an earthquake or something—I would do it ‘cause I’m strong like that.

What are some of your favorite hobbies?
Jello body shots with my model friends on Sundays after church. Or writing in my journal.

How about board games?
Board games are pretty self explanatory, I get bored.

Have you ever played naked Twister?
To be honest, I’m much more cerebral than that. I play naked chess.

How many times should a person shower a day?
At lease one…but two is better. There’s nothing hotter than a guy coming out of a shower! I can’t keep my hands off him.

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without a shower?
Nine months. There are no showers in the womb.

Are you a gym rat or do you have a naturally toned body?
I’m more of a natural who has some fat in the right places.

How do you like your men, muscular or scrawny?
I think toned guys are sexy. But on the serious tip, I’m way more into personality.

Would you ever steal a man from another girl?
Sabes que, that just ain’t my stilo.

What advice would you give a cocky male with no career?
Quit smokin’ that shit brah…

What does the future hold for Shishonia?
World domination

Are you in a relationship or single?
I’m just a solider alone right now, but I’d really love to meet a nice guy. So holla at yo girl.

HEY OYE FANS, ASK ME A QUESTION
THIS IS YOUR GIRL SHISHONIA HERE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT FOR THIS ONLINE VERSION OF MY STORY I’M GIVING YOU THE CHANCE TO INTERVIEW ME YOURSELF. JUST TYPE A QUESTION FOR ME BELOW. I’LL BE CHECKING AND RESPONDING TO YOUR QUESTIONS REGULARLY SO DON’T FORGET TO COME BACK SOON FOR MY RESPONSE. BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR NAME AND HOMETOWN.

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